Mothballs Don't Cover Stink

A couple weeks ago I started a new blog where I'm going to put all of my H.R. stories. I'm going to make this blog be just a holding cell for my random thoughts. My new blog is called Mothballs Don't Cover Stink. It was named by someone I went to high school with who I've gotten acquainted with on Facebook®. I didn't know this person, M., in high school very well at all, which was my loss because she makes me laugh a lot when she posts comments on my status. So, I was telling a story about a guy who had come into my office to drop off an application. He had a distinctive aroma of mothballs covering up body odor with underlying notes of marijuana. M. thought that a good title of my non-existent book on Human Resources would be Mothballs Don't Cover Stink. It made me laugh so hard for the rest of my day that I created the new blog as soon as I got home.

Anyway, this particular man was someone I'd interviewed for an opening I had 3 years ago. I decided back then not to hire him in part because of the wacky dance he did outside of my office after he finished his interview.

He comes back every couple of months to "check on the status of his application" and to hit on my administrative assistant. My assistant, by the way, has nicknamed him Bushwick Bill. I converted his name to Bushstink Bill. I guess a helpful suggestion to "Bill" would be that if my assistant disappears as soon as you pull up to our office, it's not a good sign for your romantic future with her.

Phone Conversation

Today my assistant, Suzette, had the following conversation on the phone:

Suzette: How can I help you?

Caller: Who have I called?

S: "name of business"

C: I don't know if this even is what I want.

S: What can I do for you?

C: I'm looking for part time work.

S: Are you available for weekends?

C: I'm really only wanting 1 day a week for maybe an hour.

S: We don't have anything like that open.

C: I stay home with the kids. My husband works. But I'd just like to leave and work for about an hour. Do you have anything like that?

S: No, we don't.

C: I have a Masters degree in Psychology. And I just don't know if being a janitor is for me.

S: If you want to be considered for openings, you'll have to fill out an application.

C: Where did I call again?

S: "name of business." Thanks for calling!

Hints For Job Seekers - #8

Pretty close to a year ago I woman in her 20's came into our office to fill out an application. After she finished, I talked to her a little bit. She noticed a picture I had of one of my dogs and she decided to tell me that she had dogs. Then she told me how she helped her 2 mixed breed dogs to mate. And she got on the floor to demonstrate what she did to help.

My gruff boss happened to stop by my office to give me something at the moment the woman was on my floor. He didn't say a word and left.

After she left, I told my gruff boss the whole story. He told me that he just thought she was some weird friend of mine.

Hints For Job Seekers - #7

I'm not going to hire PopeJohnDillinger, either.

Hints For Job Seekers - #6

I know from personal experience that it is very stressful to not have a job. It is not fun looking for a job in that situation. It is understandable that job applicants may feel a certain amount of desperation. It is hard to know if you should call the place you had an interview with to check on their hiring decision. You don't want to be annoying, but you don't want to have false hope either.


A couple years ago I had someone I was considering hiring for a janitorial position. She was honest with me about her criminal record. She had a felony conviction that showed up as "theft." She and her daughter had committed welfare fraud against Missouri in a baby sitting scheme. I was willing to not exclude her immediately, but I told her that I needed to get her background check back so that I could see what was there. I was hoping that I would be able to persuade my boss to give her a chance.


I told the applicant (I'll call her Ms. A.) that it would take at least 2 days to get the background check back. Almost immediately, Ms. A started calling me to let me know she was interested in the job. And then she called me at least 5 times a day for the next 2 days.


Somewhere around the 12th or 15th call from her, I decided that I lost interested in hiring her.

Hints For Job Seekers - #5

A few years ago and in a different job than the one I have now, we received an unsolicited resume in the mail. The woman put down her skills, one of which was remaining faithful to her husband. I still have the resume somewhere. I keep it so that if I ever teach a class on resumes I will have a good example of what not to do. She also stated that she had a bad back and that she'd had to have counseling for stress due to a work related incident. People are always advised that resumes should be no longer than 2 pages in length. Mrs. X's was 5 pages long.

Hints For Job Seekers - #4

It is still a little surprising that people will argue with us when they are wanting to get a job. The #1 most popular thing to argue about is if we have job openings. We say "no." They say "yes."

Hints For Job Seekers - #3

I don't think I need to give any more clarification to this other than to say that someone actually did turn in an application that smelled strongly of pot.

Hints For Job Seekers - #2

Once upon a time, a man came to my office with his toddler (strike 1) wanting to apply for a janitorial position. Immediately after getting an application, he asked me if I'd watch his daughter while he went to the bathroom (strike 2). I declined his offer. He left his daughter unattended in my waiting area (strike 3). After he finished his application, I discovered that his daughter had peed on a chair in my waiting area (strike 4, yer out!).

He did clean up his daughter before leaving, but he didn't mention the pee stain to me.

Hints For Job Seekers - #1

Anyone looking for a job should be aware that anything they do while applying for a job is being observed. When a person brings their children in while they fill out an application, it tells the hiring personnel that childcare will be an issue for that potential employee. If someone can't get a babysitter on the day he or she wants to fill out the application, it's best to delay it until the babysitter is available.

A related side note is that it's not a good idea to admit that you left a previous job due to not having someone to take care of the kids.